Moving on from care, and then living independently can be scary,  make you feel lonely, and you may not know where to turn to for help or  support when it’s needed. We all need good relationships in our lives, they  help keep us healthy in so many ways, and however you may feel that you don’t  have any in your life or perhaps don’t know what to look for. You initially  need to believe you deserve good relationships and are capable of having  them. The first step is to develop an understanding of what a good relationship is, and be able to identify these in your life, and know that they can take  different forms depending on who they are with and under what circumstances. These will be the ones where you feel safe, supported and not judged, and  where someone listens to you and takes on board what you say and how you  feel. They will show they understand you and make you feel important. That  does not mean you cannot disagree or have a different opinion, as this is  also a sign of a good relationship where we can respect each other’s views,  however it’s how both people deal with that that indicates it’s a strong  connection and the positive choices that then come from that. You also need  to recognise that you can get different support from different people and  that each relationship can vary. A relationship should make you feel  important, even in a small way, and that you matter. If it doesn’t you may want to reconsider that connection and think about if they are helping you  achieve what you want and bringing positively and support into your life.  They are also a way for you to show that you care, and this can be just as  important as knowing someone cares about you.

You need to be aware of how you feel within your relationship  and understand the work you are putting in to keep it going and make it  strong. Good connections will give you somewhere to turn to should you need it and give you a more positive influence in your life. These can form in  different places and times in your life and the important people could be  your carer, social worker, teacher but also someone within the community or a  friend or family member. Good relationships encourage positive behaviours and should support you to strive for the best for yourself. Where good  relationships are lacking, evidence shows that this can lead to poor decision  making, less positive life choices being made and lower outcomes and  achievements in life. So, on the opposite side, good relationships lead to better quality of life, longer life and a sense of purpose and belonging. By having people in our life who want the best for you, you are more likely to move towards achieving your goals.  

Try to keep communication open and honest at all times. This  shows you both trust and respect the person and that you want the same back  from them. It is also important to behave in a way in the relationship and  treat the other person as you wish to be treated. You need to show that the relationship is two way and needs to meet the needs and expectations of both  people.

To better understand the importance and impact of positive relationships there are several places you can look online. One example is this resource from the mental health foundation.