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Sayinghello and goodbye can be hard for anyone, but it can be especially stressful for young people in care, for two main reasons:
Uncertainty is already part of daily life. Transitions can add further instability.
Past experiences may not have built trust. Many young people have had relationships with adults that fell short of what they needed, which can make new relationships harder to start — and end.
This means staff need to approach introductions and transitions with extra care, understanding, and patience.
The timing of introductions is crucial — and there’s a fine balance to get right.
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Good timing depends on:
While age or policy may set broad limits, individual workers still have influence. Good transitions require close communication between services and honest, open conversations with the young person where their voice is heard and understood.
Key steps for introductions and referrals that support relationships and reduce stress:
· Start with the young person
· Ask the young person directly: “When would you feel ready to meet someone new?”
· Explore what has worked — or not worked — for them in past transitions.
· Time it right
· Avoid introducing someone so early that it distracts from current relationships.
· Allow enough time to build trust.
· Find the balance by checking in with the young person and those they trust.
· Make it personal
· Think carefully about where and how the introduction happens. A quiet, familiar setting often feels safer than a formal office.
· If possible, let the young person help plan the first meeting — e.g. choosing the time, place, or activity.
· Bridge relationships
· Support current staff to stay involved long enough for a proper handover.
· Encourage overlap, so the young person sees the two workers together and doesn’t feel “dropped.”
· Keep checking in
· Introductions are not a one-off event. Follow up to see how the young person feels after the first meeting and adjust if needed.
*Relationship-based practice is an approach that prioritises building trusting, consistent, and empathetic relationships as the foundation for support. *It recognises that meaningful change and positive outcomes are more likely when young people feel valued, understood, and safe in their interactions with adults. *It focuses on the quality of the human connection rather than solely on procedures, emphasising active listening, authenticity, and mutual respect.
*Trauma-informed practice recognises how common trauma is, and how deeply it shapes young people’s development, behaviour, and relationships. *It aims to create safety, avoid re-traumatisation, and promote resilience and healing. *Early experiences leave lasting marks on body and mind. Trauma-informed practice takes this knowledge and applies it so practitioners and organisations can build safe, healing spaces.
What do IT systems and relationships have in common? Both usually run in the background and are easily taken for granted. Yet, IT systems can have a big influence on the quality of relationships and relational practice in general.
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It is important to keep learning and growing. Recognise your staff’s value and expertise by developing internal training and discussion sessions. Enable staff to learn and train more. Training should not be a tick-box exercise but a place for growth and reflection.
As is often said, hurt people hurt people – it is even more important to consider the flipside: supported people support people. Working with young people and caring for them can be a demanding role, especially in under-resourced and stressful environments. A truly relational organisation also invests in the relationships between managers and staff, creating a positive environment for everyone.
Relationships are shaped by the culture of organisations. Sometimes one person who ‘doesn’t get it’ can create relational barriers for an entire team. So, it’s easy to see why recruiting the right people is critical to create and maintain a relational organisation.
Strong relationships take time, effort, and trust. For young people with care experience, this can be more complex, requiring patience, consistency, and a clear sense of boundaries. With the right approach, you can build positive, lasting connections that support the young person’s growth and relational skills.
Relationships are essential to all parts of life and encompass both our professional and personal lives. They are a vital part of the support networks for our young people and the stronger the relationship the better we can all do our jobs, perhaps making them feel less like a job and more like a vocation. And perhaps more importantly, the stronger the relationship the more important a young person might feel.
